I was so not trying to be braggy or look-what-I-do in my last post, and I am afraid that's how it came off. As I said in the comments, I think it's all the same stereotype-- the over compensating working mom. Ugh. So, sorry to brag about my stupid schedule because that's not what I intended. (But seriously EVERYTHING is overcompensating-- my house has to be the cleanest, my food has to be the from-scratchiest, my kids have to do the most activities, etc. Ugh.)
When we used to take Saturday Little Gym classes with Jack and Harry (which we did one semester because Harry was not big enough to come hang out at LG while Jack was in class, so I needed Ben to take one kid while I took the other), I HATED the women I called (uncharitably) "The Saturday Mothers." These were the moms who felt so shitty about working away from home, that they squeezed every possible second of manic QUALITY TIME! out of their classes. They didn't let a moment go by without screaming the color of something or counting the number of times their child bounced or working on clapping an elaborate sequence to the Little Gym music. I hated "The Saturday Mothers" because I was working grad student hours (which? crazy, but 3 am crazy, so I only had like 15 hours of childcare a week) and was mostly a SAHM who had quantity time and didn't need to overcompensate like "The Saturday Mothers." My everyday was hanging out with my kids doing whatever the heck they wanted whenever they wanted to do it. But because I still thought of myself as a WOHM, I could bask in open judgement of "The Saturday Mothers" and think things like, "Why not just quit your job if you're so conflicted" and "Must suck to have other people raise your kid, but do you have act so obviously defensive about it?"
Then the last year of grad school, I worked the job I have now and stepped up my childcare hours, splitting them among 3 baby sitters, which was crazy but effective. I still made grad student wages, though, so I didn't worry about putting in full days at the office and instead worked in coffee shops frantically writing my dissertation. I worked more, but I still had the most flexibility you could possibly imagine. This year, I do the same job but more is expected of me as a real worker than as a grad student. I am much more accountable at work, and our nanny comes 3 days a week and we have another sitter one afternoon a week.
And suddenly, I am a Saturday Mother instead of an everyday one.
Look! Never before seen footage of Harry and Jack cleaning up their toys when told to do so! Also, do you like Jack's purse? He wears it when he pretends to be the mommy and go to work. But he always comes back.