Tuesday, August 23, 2011

Eclipsed


My new camera has this creepy feature that allows it to automatically take pictures when it detects smiles. Or at least bared teeth.

It's really handy because I am forever missing my kids' smiles, and they don't even have to hold still-- the camera just clicks away when it thinks it sees a pleasant expression.



Harry has been having some trouble adjusting to our new house. He really misses our old house (he actually claims to still miss the Toyota Matrix I haven't driven since Jack was newborn also), and he is a little scared of this house. In the morning after breakfast, Jack trots happily downstairs to the playroom, but Harry prefers to hang in his room where there are no toys. Today he told me he just wanted to sit on his bed and pet his stuffed snake. So that's what he did, except he got super bored and could not resist bugging the crap out of me and Ben every 3 minutes.

I blame myself for reading him the first 3 Harry Potter books-- he seemed to be freaked out by them even though he loved them and all things Harry. (We decided to wait on the rest of the series because damn! That shit gets scary, so we have launched into the creepy ass world of Roald Dahl an are loving Charlie and the Chocolate Factory with big plans for James and the Giant Peach next. I bought a Dahl 6-pack at Costco, which cracked me up because OF COURSE I had to buy a half dozen-- it's Costco after all.)

He is also facing a huge transition in terms of kindergarten, which starts next week. Moving in sight of school helped calm my fears, but H is still freaking out, I think.

I know that most people go back to work when their kids start school, but back when Ben was still a 9-5er I was going to quit my job this year because Harry will be gone so much, and I wanted one of us to be completely available to him everyday after school. Kindergarten is full-day here-- no options. I am thrilled that either Ben or me will be able to bring the little kids to walk Harry home everyday and that we can volunteer in his class every week. Knowing we can do that makes ME feel better, but I think he is still a huge bundle of nerves.

He has a cute little North Face back pack, a couple of pairs of light-up shoes, a bunch of polos that are yet unstained and all his cute little school supplies packed up and ready to go. He's registered. We meet his teacher next week. We've snooped inside and shown him his classroom and the nearest bathroom.

But I can't help but feel as though this very special time for him has been eclipsed by the new baby whose arrival is (I HOPE) immanent. I hope I am not actually IN the hospital on his first day, that I can haul my fat ass onto the porch for more tentative smile pictures, that I can lumber across the street with him.

This blog always makes me remember when it was just Harry, the center of our universe. I am glad he got a solid foundation of adoration because I worry sometimes that he feels pushed out by his brother and his brother-on-the-way. Sometimes I feel like I don't have TIME for him to be nervous or patience because I just want him to realize how great things are right now. He's just a little boy, though, who wiggles his teeth all the time in the hopes that one will suddenly be loose and who has left the only house he's ever remembered and is a little scared of the dark and of noises and of leaving all his preschool friends.

Glad I have a camera that catches him smiling.

6 comments:

Becca said...

What a sweet post! Poor little oldest boys. I have to remind myself all the time how little Charlie still is, even though he is almost as tall as me. Harry will do great at school!

lonek8 said...

this post is so sweet - and harry is just so handsome! I feel the same way about Izzy, I make her go play by herself so much when the other kids are napping because I need a break, and I really should be spending that time with her one on one. but she doesn't seem to mind, and she actually asks for more babies all the time even when I explain that would mean sharing a room and having less attention.

I'm sure he'll do great in kindergarten!

Anonymous said...

what a beautiful boy..he seems to be growing up so quickly...you and Ben do a wonderful job as parents,we're so proud of you all...Bomma

The Blackburn Buzz said...

I can so relate to your post ... what a great little boy! I feel the same way about my son, Carter. Good luck in the upcoming weeks to you and your family!

Snarky Mommy said...

Oh! I love this post! It made me tear up. And he's so handsome. :)

I totally get what you mean. I have no time for Jack to be little. It's Maeve who I fear we're making grow up too fast. Baby toys? Packed that shit right up because she won't play with them anyway. Highchair? Eh, sit at the table in a booster already. Climb in your own carseat while you're at it. I'm stressing that I am hiring a sitter two mornings a week for three hours because I feel I should spend as much one-on-one time with her this year as I can since it will just be me and her.

The mommy guilt, it never ends. :) And you'll be there for the first day. There's no way you'll still be pregnant by then!

sarah said...

Oh this post made me a little weepy; he's so grown up!

Moving is hard for kids, no matter how short the distance; I'm grateful that the first huge move we did, Ethan was still too little to really register it for very long (although I am sad now that he has no memories of his first home). We're moving in a week, just to the next town over, and he's definitely acting out & having some anxiety about it. Couple a move w/ starting kindergarten (we're doing the same thing--moving 4 days after he starts) and its just a double whammy of little kid angst.

I LOVE that there's a camera out there that will sense a smile--I need one of those!!