MY JOB IS WHY I AM FAT.
It is not the steady stream of wine and grain alcohol and craft beer or the constant handfuls of raw cooke dough or the lunches that end with 3 desserts or the sandwiches with Fritos on them, or the nonstop gulp of animal crackers and bread crusts and other shit the kids leave behind. NO! It's my damn job where I either work from home and stress eat all day OR sit on my fat ass in my office chair ALL DAY.
Today, I have gotten up precisely twice since I sat down at 7:45. Once to go get copy paper so I could sit back down on and print stuff and once TO GO GET FOOD.
So it's not my fault AT ALL.