Wednesday, November 09, 2016

WTAF?

YOU GUYS.

YOU guuuuuuuuys.


Okay.  So.  I like Hillary Clinton. A lot.  AND I like that she’s a lady.  But!  That still doesn’t explain why I can’t talk about this election without crying.  So what gives? Sure I have my period so intensely Mike Pence would want me to give it a funeral, but even that can’t be the only thing that’s making me cry.  I have been crying about this election since Hillary clinched the nomination.  

And now?  Happy tears are-- um-- NOT HAPPY.

Her speech today you guys.  Her speeeeeeech.  The kids were all at school, and I just sat on my bed and ugly cried with my hair in a towel.  And when it was almost over, I started to panic a little bit because that's it. The last one.  The last time she'll talk to us as our almost-commander-in-chief (SHE WON THE POPULAR VOTE), and I kind of was counting on her to be around for at least the next 4 years. An inaugural address or 2. Press conferences.  States of the Union.  Correspondence dinners.  Pardoning turkeys.  Picking out the White House china (because of COURSE she would have to do that, too). Landing on an aircraft carrier-- okay maybe not that one.  Also, Tim Kaine quoted scripture, Langston Hughes, and Faulkner.  THAT WILL NEVER HAPPEN in the Trump administration.

I threw away this whole pitcher of vodka/basil/lemon cocktail I made last night because we never got around to drinking it because there was nothing to celebrate.
 I drove the hockey carpool last night, and practice was late-- 7:30-8:30.  I was sitting on the cold, cold bleachers refreshing my computer when the shit started to hit the fan, and I just KNEW.  When we left the rink, she still had a 73% chance according to 538, but I was clammy and shivering and full of adrenaline because I have been worried about this race from the moment she won the primary, and everyone said there was nothing to worry about, but how many times are we going to pin our hopes on Florida, and WI elected Scott Walker THREE TIMES before we had repressive voter ID laws.

I fell asleep around 12:30 before the race was called and woke up at 4:30 to the news, and I have been up since.

And the day has basically been a photo and grooming fail:

But the big kids had early release, and Dorothy had ballet, and there was a book fair and teacher conferences, and we did it all.  I talked about the election with the kids, and all three boys watched the speech and we talked about it, too.  I made mac and cheese for lunch and grilled cheese and tomato soup for dinner (although I have only had a turkey sandwich, two oatmeal raisin cookies, and some /a shitload of wine since Trump became President-Elect.  Make America thin again!)

Kids are a gift.

3 comments:

LL said...

What in the actual fuck is exactly right. I am in despair, I am trying to find hope. Every new potential cabinet pick or staff position just sends me into a new pit of despair. Hillary's speech was beautiful and inspiring and utterly gutted me. I've already written my thoughts on my own blog, but yeah, right there with you with the crying. I went to work without makeup for the first time ever because I knew it was a lost cause. I cried all morning until I went home at lunch.

Anonymous said...

Kids are a gift; mine helped me through today too. We're on the west coast so we were able to stay awake until the bitter end.

My 8 year-old daughter is a deep sleeper, and I have to wake her up each morning (gently and slowly or she growls!). This morning as soon as I cracked the door, she mumbled, still half asleep, "Did she win?" And when I told her that no she didn't win, she scrunched her face and said, "Really?" in the most disappointed voice. That was the first time I cried today. The second and third were Hillary's speech and Obama's speech (when he talked about the graciousness of Bush during the transition and how he would follow his lead, I cried hopeful tears).

Kirsten said...

I cried reading Your Personal Penguin to my kids last night (8, 5, and 2 all listening to the 2 year old's bedtime stories. They knew something was up.) I went to bed right before she conceded (I'm near Seattle) and woke up at 3,saw everything and sobbed. Haven't really stopped crying since. On the very, very liberal west coast, I was so insulated from the possibility. I honestly never considered he might win. I have 2 bottles of sparkling wine and I may never celebrate again.

Are you at least in Pantsuit Nation? It helps, a little.