Thursday, May 25, 2017

Mary Mary Quite Contrary

Ben and I spent a blissful 90-minutes while all of the kids were at school getting excellent local coffee and buying stuff for our garden.  We will spend the rest of the day planting the garden and calling an exterminator to come get rid of all of these damn wasps.  SO DREAMY.

In other news (ha as if! none of this is news!), Dorothy got her dress from the Picket Fence, and it is adorbs, and you should GO HERE TO ENTER MY GIVEAWAY RIGHT NOW.

Monday, May 22, 2017

About last night

Oh, do I  have a story for you.

But first!  You should probably enter my giveaway because it's a good one!

Ok, so, the only way I can get out of bed in the morning is to know that there is a hot pot of coffee waiting for me in the kitchen.  When I am cleaning up dinner, I always measure the next day's coffee and clean out the pot and pour new water in the machine and set the delay brew timer to start 10 minutes before my alarm will be going off.  Usually, I rinse out the pot and then wedge it on the little shelf under the water dispenser in the fridge door to fill while I dump out the old coffee and refill the basket with new coffee.  Last night, though, I rinsed the pot and filled the basket and THEN stuck the pot in the fridge door to fill.  This was out of my usual order, so I promptly forgot all the hell about the filling pot and went to shake out the laundry room rugs and sweep the floor in there, assuming that I was done making coffe. I didn't think about the coffee pot again until Ben came upstairs with an armload of dishes from the family room (kids are gross) and noticed the flood on his way to the dishwasher.  Ooops.  I pulled a couple of bath towels out of the hamper to wipe up the water and tried to convince myself that I didn't need to move the fridge to dry under it, even though I knew I did.  Just as I got the thing pulled out from the wall and was marveling at the gross wet mess under it, our fire alarms started going off.  I wasn't super surprised because they are really sensitive and I had just blown out my mother's day "Fankee Candle" from Cooper.  Beatrix started barking like crazy, like she always does when the alarm goes off which is so helpful in the middle of terrible high-pitched beeping-- but it probably hurts her ears way more than it hurts mine. The kids were all agitated, too, running around and screaming that they couldn't find any smoke-- also SO HELPFUL.  I can't reach the alarms, so I just kept wiping up water while the kids keened and the dog yelped and Ben ran around testing all the alarms to try to get them to stop the incessant noise.  They'd turn off for a second-- about 6 seconds, actually-- but then they'd blare back on again, and the kids and dog would erupt.  Finally we called the police non emergency number, and the dispatcher told us it was probably carbon monoxide, and we should get outside and wait for the fire department.  The windows were open, so I decided to risk it and keep cleaning up, but Ben herded the kids outside.  About 2 seconds after he hung up the phone, I heard the sirens and realized I had zero extra floor mopping time, so I shoved the dog into the backyard and joined the kids on the lawn, half touched/half annoyed to see they all brought their current favorite things.  The firefighters were in full gear with axes and carbon mo meters, and it took them 30 minutes to diagnose our problem while the kids and I milled around in the yard and hung out in the van and I tried not to kill them because they were all keyed up and anxious no matter how many times I pointed out that WE WERE ALL FINE.  Ben helped the rescue team OF COURSE HE DID and even though I mocked, it was actually a good thing because he was the one who found the misfiring smoke detector.  It was the one in the toy room, directly underneath the fridge.  The one that was DRIPPING WATER onto the toy room floor.  Um.  Ooops.  My bad.
We never thought that the 2 events-- the flood and the beeping-- were connected even though they happened at the exact same time.  Because we're idiots, both of us. But mostly me, obvi.

Sunday, May 21, 2017

Turns out I am a helluva dance mom. WHO KNEW? Also: Birthday party!

I put a full face of makeup on Dorothy and gave her completely amazing toddler beach waves for her Little mermaid picture and managed to snag a prime corner of dressing room real estate (friends in high places) to slam a ballet bun on her little head (it's ALL donut, but that's OK and yes, I have bought a donut and a totally fake bun (wrong color) but I may go to Ulta anyway in search of another, larger donut.  WHAT'S WRONG WITH ME?  NOTHING.  THIS IS ALL AMAZING)
harrytimes dance mom
Quick change to ballet.  I am working on the bow placement.  Apparently great dance moms are not born overnight.  GIVE ME A COUPLE OF WEEKS. (The bow needs to stand up against the bun but there's no hair there.  I might affix it to the donut before it goes on her head). Also!  Her ballet number needs a doll, and almost all of the girls in her class have Wellie Wishers, so Dorothy is using Ashlyn.  But yesterday, they all showed up with AG dolls in tutus.  So of course I had to order a tutu so Dorothy can pick a full-size AG doll for the number even though the Wellie Wisher is a better size for her teeny hands.  And you know what?  Typing all of this put, I realize that I actually have a problem.
harrytimes dance mom
In other news, it was a crappy day outside yesterday, and I asked the kids what they wanted for a treat since we had a blissful NOTHING on our schedule until my bday party, and they said to play Monopoly with me because HANGING OUT WITH ME IS A TREAT!
harrytimes monopoly

harrytimes monopoly

harrytimes monopoly
A rainy, lazy Saturday afternoon scream library to me, so we went there, too, which was a good idea because all of my damn holds came in at once.  The librarian told me I could suspend them so that didn't happen, and I was like oh my god lady you have no idea who you're dealing with.

harrytimes library

harrytimes library

And since we were going out, I swung by the grocery store to get the kids TV dinners, which they had never had before and loved and were what my brothers and I ate when our parents went out.  So retro.  Also salty.
harrytimes tv dinner
 And then, birthday party shenanigans with a friend who turns 39 a week after me and our usual rowdy group.
harrytimes date night

harrytimes date night

harrytimes date night

harrytimes birthday

harrytimes date night

harrytimes birthday
I can't believe summer is almost upon us!  The pool opens next weekend!  But for now, it's all parkas and footie pajamas and winter boots.  Brrrrrrr.
harrytimes park

harrytimes date night

Saturday, May 20, 2017

Giveaway from the cutest little Pittsburgh baby clothes boutique: Picket Fence!

You guys know that I looooooooove adorable baby clothes, right?  I mean, the first thing I did after each of my 20-week ultrasounds was RUN to buy teeny, weeny little baby clothes.  Well, you will not believe how excited I was to discover the cutest little Pittsburgh baby clothes boutique that also offers adorable clothes for preschoolers, who, if I am being honest, are as fun to dress as babies.  And!  Picket Fence also has great stuff for moms, too, which is always a plus.  I am way more likely to just throw something for myself in the cart when I am buying something for the kids, as opposed to taking the time to actually shop somewhere for myself, you know what I mean?

I recently bought Dorothy (because I mean, everyone knows that fussy girls are more fun to shop for than rowdy boys who tear through the knees of every garment they ever wear) THE CUTEST LITTLE DRESS that I think will be totally perfect for her to play in, especially since the description emphasizes how great it is to twirl in-- AND TWIRLING IS HER FAVORITE.
Thanks to a partnership with Nakturnal, I get to offer YOU a chance to win a $50 gift card to Picket Fence to buy something adorable for your baby, your kid, your home, or yourself.  To enter to win, comment on this post and tell me what you want to buy.  I will choose a winner at random on 5/27.  Good luck and happy shopping.

Be sure to follow Picket Fence on Instagram: @picketfencepgh, Twitter: @thepicketfence , and Facebook:

Friday, May 19, 2017

POTY Podcast Episode 8!

Garage sales just confirm my suspicions that people really suck.

While I am happy to have all of this tuff out of my house, I wish we had skipped the garage sale middle man and just taken it directly to Goodwill.

Also, it is like 40 degrees and freezing here, so I am writing this from under a giant blanket.

Also, also, episode 8 of POTY!

Here we are from a warmer time.  YESTERDAY.  At baseball.
That little girl thinks I am a nutball.  AND SHE'S RIGHT.
Beatrix capped off her raging birthday party with some canine custard.  SHE LOVED IT.
And Dorothy and Cooper capped off their night with a sleepover in a tent that was definitely NOT big enough for 2.

This morning, upon realizing-- to everyone's horror-- that I was out of chocolate chips, I made a few blueberry pancakes.  NONE of the children like blueberry pancakes-- how insane is that?
Seriously though.  WE ARE SO COLD

Thursday, May 18, 2017

HBD, Beatrix, You Pretty Birthday Girl, You

I was obviously not thinking of my blog at al when I only took 2 pictures all day yesterday, one of the breakfast the kids requested before a super high stakes day of standardized testing (if I rolled my eyes any harder, they would ofr sure fall out of my head) and one of me wearing a t-shirt of Ben's that I rescued from the garage sale bin because OF COURSE I DID ITS AMAZING.
harrytimes bereakfast

harrytimes mr first lady
Dorothy and Cooper had a preschool picnic last night, so we all went, Ben joining us after his late class (last one of the semester! we made it!).  It was great except that we were gearing up for a night of severe weather and Harry kept checking his radar on his phone and FREAKING OUT.

I am happy that the picnic helped us end the day on a relaxed note because I spent the whole afternoon assembling and re-assembling a rolling clothes rack for the fucking garage sale.  One time it broke because I put the wheels on at the very end and knocked it apart.  Once it broke because Harry ht it with a basketball.  Then it broke that way again and I asked Harry and his friend to go find another hoop which made Cooper freak out because he loves it when his driveway is brimming with big boys.  Then Cooper helped me put it together and it worked OK but when we had hung about 25 items of clothing it broke again.  FINALLY Ben put it together correctly after the kids were in bed. GAH.

I have had four fillings in the past 3 days, and because I wanted them to all be white, they cost $410 in co-pays.  THANKS SCOTT WALKER.  And!  They were all teeth that were already filled!  I have a new dentist, and he is WONDERFUL, but it's been 4 hours and I am still totally numb, so that's kind of terrible. But.  I ate a milkshake for lunch, so all is not lost.

Speaking of!  I found more pics from yesterday!

The kids at the picnic and the picnic Dorothy mad for her dolls in anticipation of the actual picnic:
harrytimes picnic

harrytimes picnic
So, OK, I am not going to lie.  I knew Beatrix's birthday was coming up, but I didn't know that it was coming up TODAY until Facebook conveniently reminded me.  HAPPPY BIRTHDAY, Beatrix! We love you and are so happy that you are more of a dog-shaped pillow than a dog.  Also, you are 21 in dog years, so party like it's 1999, cutie pie. (What I mean to say is there's a bacon package in the garbage under the sink:  GO HOG WILD).
harrytimes happy birthday beatrix

Wednesday, May 17, 2017

Garage sale prep

Garage sales!  Are the worst!


In other news, Dorothy is trying out lip color for her dance recital.  She slays me.

We had a LOVELY time at baseball last night.  It was perfect weather.  Harry's team won.  The kids had a picnic-- wonderful, all around.

Tuesday, May 16, 2017

39! Is Fine! So Far!

Notes from a 4-day weekend

(Also, I still have a lot to do at work to get ready for next semester, so taking a 4-day weekend is a bad idea because it's so hard to pick up all of the threads, you know?  I planned to work yesterday, but Ben conned me into helping with the garage sale.  OMFG.  THE GARAGE SALE.  More on that later.  But first).


We met friends at a fun park for lunch which was lovely, and the children were exhausted afterwards, which is also lovely.

 I came home to find the first birthday present of the week (yes, it's going to be a week-ish-- shut up.) from my brother-- a butter churner and board and butter book.
 And the book is full of amazing quotes about butter-- bonus!  I love it and am especially excited to make butter milk since we eat so many pancakes and waffles.
 Ben and Harry had baseball practice because we know how to live it up on Friday nights, so the little kids and I went to DQ, and I even had a cone because birthday weekend=binge eating and drinking, yes?

 I went home and made my own damn self a birthday cake (which was an oatmeal cookie with espresso icing and I lost my frosting bags and had to use ziplocs and they kept breaking and it was  a mess which is why I didn't change the tip to write on the cake. Boo.
 Then we popped the champagne and didn't stop drinking all weekend.  Like, seriously.

 Saturday, my actual birthday

As you can see, I needed help with candle placement because I am so old and there are so many candles.

 My parents sent me some awesome pink Ray Bans:
 And then I drank breakfast champagne and encouraged Ben to hang up literally every picture his parents gave us when they moved to Florida and relocate all our existing art to other places, thereby tripling the amount of stuff we have hanging on our walls.  It is a look that might be best viewed with 3 glasses of champagne.
 Selfie, just because there was a mirror on the floor.

 We left the kiddos with a favorite sitter and stopped by a barbecue for a pre-dinner drink before heading downtown for a fancy dinner, which you know is pretty much my favorite thing to do.  And!  We really lucked into a reservation because it was graduation weekend!


I slept in and woke up to a lovely 6-meat brunch and the most wonderful gifts from the kids because this is truly the golden age of Mother's Day.

 Dorothy made this jewelry box and has been DYING to give it to me.
 Cooper made a terrific little bracelet and matching keychain, but he has been really adamant that I needed a "Fankee" candle with his picture after seeing a billion commercials for them on PBS

 Hack and Jerry made great cards and poems for me, and it was lovely.  We spent the day cleaning out closets for the garage sale (GAH), but then Ben took the little kids to soccer, and the big kids went with to watch, and I drank wine and put away the laundry and got ready for a Mother's Day party with friends.  Also, Dorothy's soccer look is fab:

The DMV because when I turned 39, my license expired.  I was only 31 the last time I go a license, so it was a super bummer to bid farewell to that thin and lovely woman in the picture.  Sigh.  Also, it took NINETY MINUTES GAH.
 We talked about Memorial Day on the way home from school, which made Dorothy and Cooper want to play army guys.
 Ben and I spent 3 hours organizing and pricing garage sale items, and a family came and bought $100 worth of stuff as we were setting up, which was weird but great.  The sale officially opens on Thursday, and we are selling SO MUCH STUFF.  And also, just wait until next year when we will have made a for-real decision about the size of our family and will have baby stuff to purge.  Maybe.

Then!  I saw Snatched with friends, and it was HILARIOUS.  I recommend you grab your girlfriends and see it, too-- so many ridiculous jokes.

 So!  Except for the sate of affairs in, you know, the world, 39 is totally fine!