So then I spent a week watching what I was eating pretty much and using My Fitness Pal. I stepped on the scale Wednesday morning to discover that I GAINED a pound and a half. Son of a bitch. That also means that I weight 13 pounds more than I did when I bought most of my clothes (and I thought I was fat back then- ha!).
I decided that what I really needed was a disordered way of eating that could distract me from both end times and my huge ass. It is hard for me to stay motivated when the end of the world draws near and when I am aware of how fat I am because I figure WHO GIVES A SHIT.
So, I have decided to embark on intermittent fasting.
I am going to do the 16/8 method where I fast for 16 hours a day and eat for 8. For me this works out to be between 12 and 8, roughly. But there are other methods you can try and lots of science that sound fake. I was SO HUNGRY yesterday. SO HUNGRY. And then at12:30 when I could finally eat (I ate until 8:30 the previous night), a student came to my office hours. I almost cried.
I ate my egg white omelet with turkey, spinach, and mozzarella cheese and my bagel with cream cheese (the only carbs I have had all day unless you count an apple and 2 TB of spicy hummus) at 7:52, and I think I can make it until 12 tomorrow. When I feel hungry, I will just remind myself that my body is eating my ass.
I don't want the kids to know I am doing this because I try not be too nuts about food in front of them. They just think I really like ice water and black coffee for breakfast these days.
I think it's going to be a successful thing for me though because I like rules. I didn't even WANT to cheat on the Whole30. Food tracking by itself is easy for me to cheat on-- not totally sure why. So, anyway, I am going to give this a week and see what happens. The only tricky thing is that if I ever want to go out and enjoy adult beverages, I can't eat until like 4:00pm, assuming I will be done drinking by midnight. And then I have to wait 16 hours to eat again. So that might take some planning.
To help keep my hands busy and not shove all of the food I can grab in my face hole, I am back to the subversive cross stitching.
Oh! One more thing! I have been so anxious and distracted lately that I really wanted to make some space in my head for quiet. So!
I have started meditating.
I know right?! Only 4 days in to the guided meditation beginning sequence on the Headspace app, but I LOVE it, and I have some books about it on the way. OF COURSE I DO.
So there you go. 3 new happiness boosters.