Tuesday, July 17, 2018

Diving and Buckies-- it's our new summer thing.

Jack had another dive meet, this time at a public pool where I had to SIT IN THE GRASS.  I texted Ben my outrage before realizing that I am an asshole.
 He was super excited.
 Practice bounce:
 Practice approach:
 Super cool waiting for his turn:
 Oh, hey!  Thanks for the random upload, Blogger!   MOAR Buckies.
 Which!  Took us ti a new park we've never seen before!
 Oh man, you guys.  I am really embracing my new decade. This came with a free 3 year subscription to Better Homes and Gardens, too.
 Third place!  He's doing great.

Monday, July 16, 2018

Last tee-ball post, I swear

GAH!  Parents of first kids are the WORST.

Last week at tee-ball, I was having a great time watching the kids play and taking pictures with my real camera when I overheard a mom say really nastily on the sidelines "I mean, is there even a snack sign up?  There is no communication, and I don't even know what's going on."

Now, you guys.  THIS IS TOTALLY LUDICROUS because the park district is ON TOP of this team.  They have 2 employees running the game-- one at the tee and one at first base-- and another checking in players before the game starts.  There is literally NOTHING for the parent volunteer to do but tell kids where to go when they are running bases and make sure no one gets hit with the bat waiting for their turn.  THAT IS IT.

The lady who said this was clearly embarrassed when her husband replied, "She's sitting right there" and hooked his head in my direction.  She reacted exactly as I would have, by getting visibly pissed off and shoving all her shit in a bag and hustling her (3, tiny, adorable) kids off the field.  I hope by the time her baby is playing tee-ball her now-5-year-old has moved on to ACUTAL ball, and she knows where tee-ball fits in the grand scheme of a child's life.  Right now, though, my lagging snack emails ARE KEEPING HER SON FROM HIS VARSITY LETTER AND COLLEGE SCHOLARSHIP, so I completely understand the angst.

(And we are still first parents of a kid and are still the worst-- just not in this context anymore).

I wanted to be like "Have another baby and you'll literally forget tee-ball is even happening," but instead I used the team communication app (which, you guys, THERE IS A TEAM COMMUNICATION APP. If you are super worried about, um, communication, send a message?  Maybe?  Also: consider VOLUNTEERING to coach? If you have strong ideas about how things should be done?) to send a link to a Sign-Up Genius I made on my phone in literally 3 minutes with the message "I heard from parents that a snack sign up would help the team *smiley face**"

Also Ben coached this week. (Along with 2 other super nice dads who were so eagerly involved I wanted to ask them if they had ever thought of, um, volunteering to coach.)  And I!  Took pictures.

Because annoying or not, tee-ball is adorable!
 THIS IS HOW I FEEL, TOO:
 The moron who can't even send a damn snack sign up:
 Super helpful photography team:

Smiles even while she runs the bases:
 Oh look THE PARK DISTRICT EMPLOYEE who runs the game and also Ben who is simultaneously preventing the kids from standing too close to the tee AND directing runners.  Bam!
And!  I know that I forgot the game last week, but the team communication app SENDS a reminder EMAIL about each game.  So the parent volunteer doesn't even have to do that.  ROBOTS are coaching the team, so everyone can chill, man.

Sunday, July 15, 2018

What We're Eating This Week 29/52 and a BRAND NEW RECIPE: THE FAT ELVIS MUFFIN

Sunday: Enchiladas
Monday: Pancakes, bacon, and fruit before tee-ball
Tuesday: Burgers on the grill, corn, chips and veggies and dip, watermelon
Wednesday: Pizza
Thursday: Chicken salads with lettuce and tomatoes from our very! own! garden!
Friday: Something?  After a dive meet?
Saturday: There's a baseball tourney in town... Ben wants to have the whole team over...

And now!  A brand! New! Recipe!

Fat Elvis Muffins

Prep Time: 8 mins if your kids are in your way
Cook Time: 15 mins, shorter if you have somewhere to be, longer if you are, say, elbow deep in a sink of breakfast dishes
Yield: 18 muffins

Ingredients:
3 ripe bananas
20-ish unwrapped Hershey's kisses
2 TBS creamy peanut butter
1/3 C oil
Splash buttermilk
2 splashes vanilla extract
1 egg
1 + 1/2 C flour
3/4 C sugar
1 t baking powder
1 t baking soda

Directions:
Preheat the oven to 350 and line 1+ 1/2 muffin tins with cute little muffin cups.  TRY TO BE SEASONAL.

I am a lazy baker, so I make these in one bowl and mix them with a spoon because fewer dishes is a WIN in my book, and I already had to use the food processor (more on that in a second), so my sink was full.

Mash the bananas in the bottom of a medium to large mixing bowl. I use a potato masher.

Pulse the Hershey's Kisses in your food processor until they are ground into delicious chocolate clumps.

Add the pulverized Kisses and the peanut butter to the mashed bananas and stir into a paste.  Keep stirring and add the oil, buttermilk, vanilla, and egg.

Add the flour, sugar, baking powder and baking soda and stir.

You know what muffin consistency should be, and if your batter is too wet, throw in some more flour. Too dry?  MOAR buttermilk, another egg, another sad banana, some applesauce-- you're the baker here; make the call.

Fill your cute little (SEASONAL) muffin cups about 3/4 full-- I sued about 2 TBS batter per cup-- and bake for around 15 minutes.  These are pretty forgiving, so use your best judgement and check on them a couple of times.

They TOTALLY match my counter:


 4/4 kids reacted EXACTLY like this:






Friday, July 13, 2018

Slimy Friday

It's FRIDAY!

What are you doing today?

I hope the answer is going to Michael's to make slime FOR FREE with NO MESS.

All of the kids looooove it, from oldest to youngest:

WHAT ARE YOU WAITING FOR??


Thursday, July 12, 2018

The Family That's Bored Together...

SUMMER IS SO BORING.

Days and days with nothing to do except swim and dive and play tennis and baseball.

IT'S SO ROUGH  TO BE THESE KIDS.


 And me?  Oh, well, I have nothing to do but, you know, my WORK only with NO STATE PROVIDED CHILDCARE.

Also!  All of these people who live in my house want to EAT like 3 times a damn day.  It's exhausting.
 Seriously, though, Bucky hunting has been amazing at breaking up the monotony.
 Also, I try to take the children to as many bars as possible.
 Kidding.  But you would be surprised how much a round of chips and salsa can perk everyone up.
 COOPER DRAWS TORNADOES ON EVERY AVAILABLE SURFACE.  Unless he's drawing water spouts.  Not creepy at all.

Wednesday, July 11, 2018

Going on a Bucky Hunt

I am not going to lie to you, at least once a day, I think about what life would be like if we had our 10/4 baby.  But!  Then I have a day like last Saturday, and I am overwhelmingly grateful to have big kids.

Ben and Harry had their first baseball tourney of the season, so the little kids and I went downtown on an epic Bucky hunt.  We were gone for 7 hours, and I only spent about $45 (on sunglasses, socks, bandaids, lunch, and ice cream.  And a $5 MAGIC COFFEE for me because it is MAGICAL).  They didn't complain or fight, and it was like being out and about with a few people I like and like to spend time with.  Totally magical-- more than the coffee, even.

But then we ended the night with pizza at the pool, which has become our new Friday night family tradition, and the kids beat the hell out of each other and screamed and tattled and collapsed into tiny exhausted tantrum puddles, so.

Here's a smattering of Bucky pics-- I am going to post ALL 85 STATUES once we finish our hunt.






 Ready for adventure:
 Matching sunnies!
 They took a break to have a snack and draw a map
 Explorers at the Capitol
 I TOTALLY EARNED THIS
Lost their first 2 games, but had a blast:


Tuesday, July 10, 2018

The Good Camera and Another Dive Meet

I found my camera while FINALLY MY GOD FINALLY cleaning out my closet, so I have been making an effort to use it.  The pictures really ARE better.

I smell a 2019 NYR to take a photography class...

Look, with my good camera, their disdain for my strawberry banana rhubarb muffins (no oatmeal, much to my surprise, so I used more flour) is palpable.



I mean you can't totally blame them because the batter looked like for-real barf

 Beatrix is always gorg.
 Cooper leaves tiny toys around like calling cards.  And now you can see all of the deets.
 My bumpy hip fat is CLEARLY VISIBLE with the good camera.
 I was able to take continuous pics of every angle of Jack's dives.
 You can see each water droplet!
 Cooper's tantrum practically leaps off the page!
 Phone camera to document how I almost died of sweat poolside before I had the GENIUS IDEA to MOVE TO THE SHADE

 3rd AND 4th! It was a triple dual meet!