tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-30058350.post5046848781323878077..comments2024-03-28T18:05:58.600-05:00Comments on Harry Times...All Jacked Up: Mama PhDSarahhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/07270389106604867450noreply@blogger.comBlogger7125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-30058350.post-10089904846810056662009-05-07T23:22:00.000-05:002009-05-07T23:22:00.000-05:00I just love you. that is all. :-)I just love you. that is all. :-)sarahhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/01387145957769474838noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-30058350.post-6914136722740276522009-05-01T11:45:00.000-05:002009-05-01T11:45:00.000-05:00Awesome post Sarah. I commend you for all that you...Awesome post Sarah. I commend you for all that you do---and to do it all equally well is a huge accomplishment. I can't believe you dished out hugs :)ginahttps://www.blogger.com/profile/11402488064192455038noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-30058350.post-56546961336583036682009-04-30T20:05:00.000-05:002009-04-30T20:05:00.000-05:00That comment about the migrant is hilarious! But s...That comment about the migrant is hilarious! But sadly, true, I bettripodnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-30058350.post-86516109424922977572009-04-30T19:53:00.000-05:002009-04-30T19:53:00.000-05:00One of the essays in the book is from a sociologis...One of the essays in the book is from a sociologist, and she writes about getting no support from her department when they found out she was pregnant. She vented to an advisor who said something about "we'll support you if you are an underage migrant farm worker looking for an abortion, but if you're a pregnant married woman who wants to be a mother forget it."<br /><br />Most of the women are in the humanities, interestingly enough.Sarahhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/07270389106604867450noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-30058350.post-75670137139899405832009-04-30T19:22:00.000-05:002009-04-30T19:22:00.000-05:00Not being an academic, I have to ask you guys: D...Not being an academic, I have to ask you guys: Does the field of study make a difference? If Becca is in a male-dominated field, or if you are in business or econ, or something, is that different than working in sociology or women's studies? <br />Or are those departments equally invested in an academia modeled on the old boys one?tripodnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-30058350.post-40837767299894389792009-04-30T15:07:00.000-05:002009-04-30T15:07:00.000-05:00Well, you know, I opted out of a lot of growth opp...Well, you know, I opted out of a lot of growth opportunities on my own (didn't attend as many conferences, didn't work on publications because I have been so strained just trying to do my work. didn't apply for research fellowships to help me work with my archives, etc), so I have definitely had a different grad school experience than I would have childless, that's for sure. I am glad the book gave you clarity-- it did for me, too, especially about the kinds of things I will probably always have to opt out of.Sarahhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/07270389106604867450noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-30058350.post-20809380525303432009-04-30T14:57:00.000-05:002009-04-30T14:57:00.000-05:00Oh my gosh, Harry is so perceptive! I am so glad ...Oh my gosh, Harry is so perceptive! I am so glad to hear how your department is so incredibly supportive. I have had mixed reactions and the book really helped me identify a few things that I had always thought were my fault. Almost as soon as I announced my pregnancy (even before that, when I got married, to some degree), my advisor has seemed to not know what to do with me. I stopped getting invited to after-work drinks and being included in informal meetings like that. It hurt and I always blamed myself. But more and more I realize that he was freaked out by my pregnancies and responded by distancing himself from me. As he was doing this he told me that he "understood what it was like" to have children and be an academic (he did not because he had a full time stay-at-home wife) and made me feel like he was doing me a favor by lightening up on me professionally (not encouraging me to present at conferences, submit publications, participate in field work). Unfortunately, I am now finding that I missed some good growth opportunities and I think it will hurt me trying to find a job. The crazy thing is that I think this faculty member truly feels like he did me a favor. At least now I can admit that the distance I felt between us was not my fault, that I did nothing to cause it and couldn't have changed it. I spent a lot of energy trying to close the gap myself and chastising myself for not being a good enough student to earn his approval. It was such a relief to realize that it probably wasn't "me" to begin with.Beccahttps://www.blogger.com/profile/05156777853779141522noreply@blogger.com