I don't even know how to express my joy that the snow is gone. I don't even care that there was barely even in-between weather even though in-between weather is my very favorite kind. (It is super hot and sticky and we have the air on already. Boo).
I have been able to take walks again at work and spend hme reading and writing in pretty places.
Joanna Gaines' cookie recipe-- it's as perfect as she is.
But! I started doing yoga everyday, and that's been even better than good. Who knew?
I am really depressed about my upcoming birthday, you guys. I feel like I used to be an exceptional person with so much potential and I didn't use it. I just sort of settled here, a middle-aged mom.
In some ways I blame grad school, a demoralizing process that convinced me I was never as smart as I thought I was. I had a student come by my office to work on her student commencement address, and I realized that I had my own speech from a million years ago to show her. I read it over again before I sent it to her, and you know something? IT WAS REALLY GOOD. At the time, though, I convinced myself that I only got picked to deliver the speech on a fluke (um, actually? there were several rounds of try-outs). A professor in my department went out of his way to tell me it was a good speech on graduation night, and I have a really vivid memory of his compliment embarrassing me because I was sure he only said something because he felt bad for me. I mean WHAT THE HECK?
I have not written a single academic word since I defended my dissertation 9 years ago. And all I have been writing lately are super sad poems about miscarriage and the stifling weight of motherhood.
Midlife crisis, right?