Thursday, November 23, 2017

Fat Kid in a Little Suit: Thanksgiving Redux

I originally posted this in 2009, and it's still my favorite Thanksgiving story of all time.  Happy Thanksgiving-- I hope it's the best one yet.

Thanksgiving, circa 1985-ish

My brothers and me-- I was 7; Ben was 3, and Jon was 2.

Shortly after this picture was taken, I pushed past a houseful of guests to be first in line for the Thanksgiving buffet and heaped my plate high with turkey, chopped liver, stuffing, cranberry orange relish, sweet potatoes, green bean casserole-- you get the idea. I marched into the library where the folding kids' table was set up, delighted that I didn't have to waste time talking to my brothers or any guests, plopped both my plate and my fat little self down on the bench, shot my cuffs, picked up my fork, opened my mouth, and raised a heavy, quivering bite of buttered roll and gravy-drenched meat to my eager lips. And then the table collapsed under the weight of me and my leaning tower of flesh and carbs.

Happy Thanksgiving. May you eat like no one's watching.

Tuesday, November 21, 2017

Thanksgiving prep

First of all, you should 10000% ENTER YESTERDAY'S GIVEAWAY!

I'll wait, even.

Ok.  Good job.

Now, seriously, you guys, let's talk about Thanksgiving.  HOLY SHIT THANKSGIVING.  There are a lot of moving pieces.  I made a spread sheet.  Actually a couple of spreadsheets.  And also a 5-page grocery list organized by store and by day I should go to there.

Today, I have 2 more stores to hit and then!  I am going to make everything I possibly can tonight (thank you, fridge in the basement) and then the rest of it tomorrow. My plan is to leave Thursday for assembling appetizer trays, setting the table, and figuring how the hell to cook everything in my on oven.  And, of course, for everything else that comes up

Most of my recipe bookmarks are Martha Stewart and the rest are Pioneer Woman.  HOW COULD I GO WRONG? (Shut up. There are probably a million, billion ways and that doesn't even take into account combinations and permutations.)

Ben took Harry to a far-away hockey game at a rink that doesn't have doors (WHAT THE HELL, WISCONSIN?) so I was on tiny hockey practice duty.  It was boring.  BUT SO CUTE.
 Also, Cooper can skate backwards, meaning he has surpassed my skillz.
 Dorothy was a teeny bit bored, too.
 This book slays me.
 I broke my cake stand (like the 5th fucking one-- that deserves an F word by the way because do you know how much I love cake stands?) but I am so happy I saved the top because it fits perfectly on the dinner plates Ben's mom gave us. Also, I am never making muffins for my kids that have sugar tops ever again because it;s like my house is carpeted in sugar.
 I asked Dorothy what she wanted for lunch after preschool yesterday, and instead of answering directly she asked if she could crack the eggs and flip the pancakes and do all of the mixing.  Of course I said yes, and she said, "Ok.  Then I will have pancakes for lunch and make the boys so jealous.  but only if you have buttermilk."  Luckily, I had buttermilk.
 I have started making cookies for my TAs when there are exams to grade.  I left these for the kids and they were untouched when I came home.  Maybe because they blend in with the counter? Or maybe because I bake too much and they GNF?  Definitely not because the cookies were bad.  I ate them just to make sure.
 The only place mats that I have enough of look like hell with my dishes (and are too springy)
 These look great.  But I only have 4.
 These are OK, but I only have 8.
  I think I am going to use all of the rounds and the rectangles, too, and alternate. Thoughts?  What I am NOT going to do it buy more placemats.  I am committed I am pretty sure to the green tablecloths and yellow napkins-- they really look pretty with the plates IRL.  Napkin rings are dark wood, FYI.  I have red napkins and green ones, but  I want to go for fall over Christmas.

Literally the things that are keeping me up at night.  I will keep you posted.  OF COURSE.

Monday, November 20, 2017

The cutest place for baby clothes, even if your baby is getting big-- THE PICKET FENCE GIVEAWAY!!

 You guys!  Just in time for the holiday shopping season, I have partnered with Naktural to offer an amazing $50 gift card to the always adorable boutique The Picket Fence where you can get baby clothes and so much more!

You might remember last time I got to give away a gift card to The Picket Fence, and I have to tell you, I think the store has gotten EVEN CUTER since then.

I was kind of stressing about getting a picture of  Dorothy in her adorable new dress and matching tights, but then Ben helpfully reminded me that my pictures are always terrible and no one comes here for the photography.  THANKS, BEN.

Anywho, she went to preschool warm and cozy and feeling like a million bucks in her tunic and tights.  I recommended that she style it with her polka-dot Uggs, but, as you can see, she went with some too-small old tights, some ratty boots from  last year, and her brother's winter wear.  Um.

What? Just hanging out on my giant unicorn.  Like you do.

Who me?  I'm just kicking it in my kitchen.  Also LIKE YOU DO.

What?  I totes go outside and pose like a little teapot while my mom crouches on the freezing cold concrete.  Whatevs.

Why yes, yes I d like my cozy sweater dress.  How can you tell?

This is my fancy face,  OBVIOUSLY.
Obviously these tights that don't match and my ripped up licensed character boots are the better accessories.  Also a stuffed panda (?) from a claw machine, ear muffs, and a single mitten.  This ensemble really screams PRESCHOOLER if I do say so myself.
Ready to rock my day in style.  Obvi.


To enter my giveaway for a $50 gift card to The Picket Fence, please comment on this post and tell me your favorite boutique children's brands.  I am a HUGE fan of Catimini and also always Tea Collection.  You?

To see more adorable from The Picket Fence, check out @thepicketfence on Twitter, @picketfencepgh and #FenceFaves on Instagram, and the store's Facebook page

Sunday, November 19, 2017

Bring it, Thanksgiving prep week.

This soup is simmering (or, almost simmering, damnit) on my stovetop right now, and it smells AMAZING.

My favorite couch companion is next to me, and the cookie jar is full of candy. 

Saturday, November 18, 2017

Busy little Saturday

Dorothy found my old fairy coloring book from a couple of years ago when I somehow had time to color and turned it into a fairy burn book.  Cool.
 My split ends are out of control.  I think there is mom hair in my future.
 Dorothy concentrated so sweetly on her make-your-own pizza.  She's a keeper.  Sometimes.
 We saw WONDER!
 It's amazing.
 You should see it.
 Beatrix, watching College Game Day on ESPN.
 We went to 5 grocery store.  And I have 2 more to hit up by Tuesday.  OMFG.

Friday, November 17, 2017

A giant tooth and some school pictures

Old lady Dorothy loved the giant velcro rollers, by the way.
 She has been telling me for days that it was her American Girl doll Kit's birthday (Kit is her absolute favorite of all the dolls, probably because they are twins), so I made cookie dough super fast before work so I could make teeny doll-sized cookies when I got home.  Cooper was SO SAD that he had to go to school before it was ready because raw cookie dough is his number 2 guilty pleasure (right after driving Jack batshit crazy after some video game rule violation), so Dorothy (who, as you can see also enjoys flirting with food poisoning) and I took him a spoonful on our way to preschool (perks of living right across the street).
 Well played, coffee shop whiteboard.  Well played.
 Cooper also (bonus!) lost his tooth in that spoonful of cookie dough.  AND THAT'S A BIG FREAKING TOOTH.  (That his teacher told me at conferences she had to rinse off because it was covered in chocolate.  Oops).
 Kit's birthday party.  Dorothy called the other dolls the guest-es and carried them by their hair to the table.
 She also made Jack and Cooper attend.
 And, finally, SCHOOL PICTURES!!

Thursday, November 16, 2017

Every Night Is Game Night

I don't know if I have told you this before, but the reason I had so many kids is because growing up, 3 kids was just not enough to play all of the board games in a fun way.  So if no adult was playing with us, we had a fairly limited board game group to choose from, especially if not all 3 of us wanted to play.  I figured with 4 kids (and me! I love board games!) I would always have people to play with.

Jack and Harry and I have been on a Yahtzee kick, but yesterday, Harry and I played quite a bit of hockey Spot It (including before he left for school and during Jack's gymnastics class, where we annoyed pretty much everyone in the waiting room with our constant blurting of "Penguins!" "Flyers!" "Goalie mask!"  Then, last night, we played the best game ever MONOPOLY.  Jack won because I could not land on anything to freaking buy (I hate when that happens) and all Harry ever wants to do is put hotels on Boardwalk and Park Place even though nobody lands on them ever,  Jack has a solid strategy of buying all of the things and building on the light blues and the oranges and the magentas.  Those rents are manageable and consistent, and he nearly bankrupted Harry.

I seriously and non-ironically love board games.  I wish they hadn't lost all the CLUE murder weapons.

Another day, another blow-out
 I went up to get more snacks, and he all of the sudden bought Park Place.  Hmmm...