Friday, June 05, 2020

All of the things!



It's amazing, and I feel SO RELIEVED.

But also, that's why I haven't blogged at all.

I also have a fully prepped spring class which blows my mind, but that one was already ready already. And? The amazing course designer I have been working with for summer emailed to let me know the summer course is READY TO GO and it's GORGEOUS. The huge gen ed course I direct is thisclose to being ready for fall, at least on my end, and the training module is well under way, and I have done my part of that, too. It is actually possible to imagine that I will have time to have a baby. I am thrilled.

So, here are a million pictures of life from the last few weeks, while I have been working my freaking face off:

Zoom dance class ended, but the studio has a fantastic and super responsible plan for an August recital in the parking lot. The kids wore their costumes to Zoom class the last week:
 The socks were her own touch, clearly.
 Lilac season came and went
 Dorothy and Cooper have a super cute dress up game called "Should I Wear THIS to Prom?" and I totally love it.

 I have done yoga EVERY DAY since I turned 42, and it's fantastic/. Cooper approves.
 SO OVER SCHOOL and so happy it's over on TUESDAY!!
 Harry had chest pains, and we had to go to the hospital for an echo. He is fine. Hospitals are gross. The end.
 Dorothy wore her ballet costume to both tap and ballet because tap is itchy. **shrug**
 Pretty much sums it up:
 Dorothy is super in to having her hair curled. I am here for that.
 Me, recording videos for various classes in my super awesome recording studio.

 SO much hammock time

 Dorothy had crayon day at school, and this is her dressed like a crayon:
 Cooper prefers a bird's eye view of the smoothies he is making:
 SPRINKLER (and yes, that is a picture taken from the hammock)
 Cooper is a very good dinner prepper.
 Dorothy is way into Junie B Jones all of the sudden and Junie B. is also having a baby in her family and also HAS SOME FEELINGS ABOUT IT.

 Dorothy and Coper made moon rocks with first grade, and it was SO FUN. Dorothy played with the leftover "sand" for an hour while I worked on my class. So easy--- I totally recommend.

 Look who lost another tooth!!!!
 BRB-- working on the big girl room. (I cleaned the carpet with the new love of my life, this carpet cleaner and it was such an amazing zen experience. I hope to do our bedroom carpet today.)

Monday, June 01, 2020

May: What I Read


Like, this month was what I intended to magic in to existence every month when I decided to only read 100 books this year. I thought I could read fewer, better books. It took me almost half the year, but I have finally hit this stride, and the books I have lined up for June are also fantastic!

Part of this is that I finally figured out how to make the best of the library's curbside system, and part of it is that I bit the bullet and just started buying books again, which I haven't done since 2013 when I first set an audacious reading goal.

Anyway, Goodreads tells me I am one book ahead of schedule and have logged a measly 42 books this year. Here are my excellent May books, in order, of course, of their excellence.

The Grace Kelly Dress by Brenda Janowitz: I like this book, but it had 3 separate story lines, and I was only really into one of them.

Something She's Not Telling Us by Darcy Bell: A great, kicky little thriller.  I read it in the hammock.  Did not regret it.

Most Likely by Sarah Watson: I did not know this was a YA book when I made the grown ass adult members of my virtual book club buy it, but I freaking LOVED IT by the end. Total feminist fantasy story.

Ask Again, Yes by Mary Beth Keane: LOVED this, but it is a 2019 book, so it won't count for the books of the year ** sad trombone**. I read it because I have been reading the Girl Next Door podcast quarterly book club books, and I recommend both their picks and the episodes where they discuss the books.

Wow, No Thank You by Samantha Irby: I love her, and these essays were as fantastic as her other
books. This is perfect shelter-in-place reading for sure.

Redhead by the Side of the Road by Anne Tyler: A new Anne Tyler?!?!? Oh, how wonderful.

Separation Anxiety by Laura Zigman: Oh, this sweet, sad, funny, and weird little book. What a delight!

The Book of Longings by Sue Monk Kidd: THIS IS WONDERFUL, you guys. As you might remember, I also lost my ever loving mind over The Invention of Wings, too, but this one is even better. I was hooked from the very first page. Basically, what I am saying is READ IT.

Wednesday, May 27, 2020

Nesting, I am pretty sure.

We took advantage of the long weekend and breaks from Ben's 13+ hour work days to spend over 13 hours a day PAINTING THE BASEMENT and moving Cooper to the former toy room. Have I ever been this tired? MAYBE NOT.

Remember, the room was purple, full of toys, and sporting a vinyl floor.  WHICH IT STILL HAS because 1. PANDEMIC and 2. Cooper likes a flat space to build LEGO **shrug**


 It's a YUGE room, so we kept a lot of communal toys, and all three younger kids have been playing in there TOGETHER which is amazing.

The second half of the project was painting the basement hallway and family room, which we have not done since we moved in NINE YEARS (what!) ago. We went with Sherwin Williams Grayish, and I completely love it, even though it is bluer underneath than I thought it would be. We might even slop it on the yellow walls upstairs because I NEED TO NOT HAVE YELLOW WALLS IN MY HOUSE. RIGHT NOW.
 We made Dorothy a little play corner because we had to evict that ugly black shelf (which might not be the kind of shelf that adults have outside their closets, but what are you going to do? It looked fine up against a chalkboard wall), and Ben even hung up some kid are instead of his amazing sportsball memorabilia in the corner (ONLY IN THAT CORNER-- HE'S NOT INSANE).
 So much cleaner and neater!
 Buuuut, we had an extra IKEA shelf because Coop had one in his old room that didn't fit in his new room, so we decided to go ahead and junk up the hallways becasue we are drowning in CRAP.
Seriously, though, I am thrilled with how it looks. Next up, Dorothy's room and the living room/upstairs hallway/stair well. But first, I have to do some serious fall course prep. GAH.

(I think this is what they call nesting).

Friday, May 22, 2020

Elderly pregnancy update

Greetings from elderly pregnancy-ville.  I wasn't going to write about this at all, but I can totally see myself NOT BLOGGING ever because I feel like I am hiding something, so, here goes:

I have a thick placenta, and it might be impacting the baby's growth.

She was measuring perfectly on track at my 20-week ultrasound, but they thought maybe my placenta was thicker than it should be, so they asked me to come back between 24-26 weeks to see it again. I came at 25 weeks and 4 days, on May 15. I got a semi-not-good vibe from the tech, who was not chatty and kept measuring certain things again and again in a way that did not reassure me at all. When my midwives' office called to tell me about the results of my labs (glucose test and CBC-- both fine), I specifically asked about the ultrasound, saying I wanted someone to call me as soon as they read the report if there as any kind of issue.  No one called, so I thought I was fine.

On Wednesday the 20th, I had my first midwife appointment since 16 weeks, and when the midwife asked if I had done my ultrasound yet, I felt a little sick to my stomach. I assumed that no one called me because it was fine. Apparently no one called me because they just didn't call me.

The baby looks good-- her organs are still great. She still has plenty of fluid. Her heartbeat is strong, etc. BUT. My placenta still looks thick, and this time they do not think it is the angle. The baby has also fallen off the typical baby growth curve. The midwife was quick to tell me that this can be a normal thing and that after 20 weeks, babies DO start to follow their own curves. I haven't ever had a post-20-week ultrasound before, so I don't know how the others were measuring at this point. I do have small babies. Cooper has been the biggest at 7lbs 5 oz-- and he was overdue! Harry has been the smallest at 6lbs 4 oz, and Jack and Dorothy were both in the 6lb and change range. So, it could still be totally OK.

BUT. It also might not be. I have an ultrasound at the perinatology clinic (at the hospital I will use for delivery) on June  9th. I could not get in sooner, and I called my midwives' group to see if they thought I needed to get in sooner, and they reassured me that June 9 was fine, as did the ultrasound scheduler who told me it was OK to wait based on the order. I guess that should make me feel better, but in light of no one calling me about the 5-15 ultrasound, it just makes me think no one is paying super close attention to my chart. And because I am super anxious about ALL OF THE THINGS all of the time, I have no good sense of what my gut feeling is about the care I am receiving.

On one hand, I feel great (they gave me a belly support band for my back during my visit!). My blood pressure is great. My weight is fine. My labs are fine. The bay's heartbeat is fine. I can feel her move, etc. On the other hand, I am old as shit, so I want someone to pay more attention to me-- but is that because I am anxious and selfish or because I legit need a closer eye on this pregnancy? Should I have chosen the same OB group I used before instead of midwives? (We have never been able to use midwives with our insurance before this pregnancy, but that was always the model of care I thought I wanted).

IF the baby is growth restricted, I will have weekly ultrasounds and monitoring at the hospital. The midwife said based on her read of the report that she did not think I would end up as a candidate for this. She also said that despite my age, I have no pregnancy risk factors and said I could keep spacing out my visits. I have to come back at 31 weeks, at the end of June.

So, anyway. I am worried because I am a worrier. I did a brief Google search, BUT NEVER AGAIN, so please don't tell me what Dr. Google says.

I just feel really selfish for having another baby-- which was already pretty selfish. I mean how many resources does one family need to consume?? I really thought, though, that everything would be fine because it has always been fine, and one little bump in the not fine direction has sent me into a tailspin.

Writing, yoga, lots of water-- all of these things help me feel less stressed, and less stressed? Is my goal for the rest of this pregnancy.

Also as a friend pointed out on Instagram-- a thick placenta has to to weigh like 15 of those 20 pounds I have gained, right?

Tuesday, May 19, 2020

Room re-do's

Yesterday we sampled S E V E N paint colors-- three for upstairs/downstairs, two for Dorothy's new room, and two for Cooper's new room, AKA THE OLD TOY ROOM.

I am really sad to be repurposing the toy room, but it seemed silly to cram Dorothy and Cooper in Cooper's room when we have a large 5th bedroom just sitting there. Filled with toys. And sporting vinyl flooring that we're not switching out any time soon because SOCIAL DISTANCING. In lieu of spring break this year, we were supposed to get new carpet in the 3 upstairs bedrooms, but instead, we did NOTHING. Thanks, pandemic.

It's the biggest bedroom in the house (besides ours, I think...), so the plan is to get a rug to sort of delineate Cooper's space and keep the majority of the toys in there with him. I think it will be kind of a disaster while  the kids work out boundaries, etc, so we are starting early (painting this weekend?!) so everyone can be adjusted to their new spaces before the baby comes. Besides a rug, we need an Alexa, a lamp for his nightstand, and maybe one more lamp of some sort to mark off his space and give him lighting options because he is afraid of the dark.

We let Dorothy choose between staying in her room or moving to Cooper's, and she decided to move next door, which is fine with me because her room has made a perfect baby room since we moved in NINE YEARS AGO next month (what?!?!). We don't need anything for her room except new big kid art for the walls and a new light fixture (she wants a chandelier).

We had a cute white IKEA crib for the baby, but friends of ours dropped off an even cuter white crib with a matching changing table, so the only thing we really need for that room is a dresser. And I think I am finally going to buy a glider, which is a dumb purchase after all these babies, but knowing us, we would have given ours away by now anyway and would be buying our second glider. So I am actually saving money.

But really: a rug, an Alexa, a couple of lamps, some wall art, a chandelier, a dresser, and glider. Not a bad list for THREE new bedrooms.

We decided to paint the basement because we haven't painted it ever, and buy does it need a refresh. And we're painting the upstairs because I suddenly HATE yellow walls. HATE.

So, if you need us between now and July (my self-imposed deadline) we will be painting.

Cooper had a Zoom meeting, so he decided to wear Ben's old Space Camp NASA suit.
 Homework anywhere, any time, even while I am blowing my hair dry.
 This is a good one!
 Speaking of eating all the carbs: french toast lunch buffet.