Monday, August 11, 2008

In a Different Voice (my apologies to Carol Gilligan-- only not really because I don't totally dig the essentialist feminists)

Ummm, guys? Where did everybody go?

Seriously. Stop making fun of my skinny legs.

You think I'm squishy? Have you felt this thing's face? Uh, why does this thing have a face? Don't you know how creepy that is? Pacifiers with faces, blankets with faces, shoes with faces. How am I supposed to figure out the way the world works when all my stuff has a face? Is this normal? I'm confused. But what a soft widdle nose... Squish, squish.

Ha ha ha ha. I like this thing. Ha ha ha ha. Hey-- does this mean you aren't going to hold me anymore?

Yeah. Um. Guys? Des he have a razor and a maniacal grin? Um, am I the only one who fears for my safety?

Oh, okay. The razor's gone, and now he just has a hard plastic cobra on a pointy stick. Cool.

Okay, people. I guess I need to slow this down for you. Good job taking away the razor and the snake club. HIS HANDS ARE WEAPONS, TOO. HELP ME!!! I AM AN INFANT, AND I CANNOT HELP MYSELF.

Mom, Dad. I know you are conspicuous consumers, but it's August. Cool it on Santa, okay?

Waaaaaah

No, seriously. Waaaaah. What did you think I said?

5 comments:

SSU said...

Poor Jack - so many things are scary at that age! Although he is very cute in the jumper!

Becca said...

He was cute before, but he's getting so cute and infant-y (as opposed to newborn-y). I love that you are reading them "The Night Before Christmas." Too funny.

Anonymous said...

cuter by the minute..but that's no surprise...so is Harry...Bomma

Tripod said...

Is Harry doing "Sweeney Todd?" I think he's better than Depp. Jackie looks so cute in his man clothes.
Very funny!

sarah said...

That jumper is a riot! Love it. Oh, and the boys are pretty adorable, too.