Ummm, guys? Where did everybody go?
Seriously. Stop making fun of my skinny legs.
You think I'm squishy? Have you felt this thing's face? Uh, why does this thing have a face? Don't you know how creepy that is? Pacifiers with faces, blankets with faces, shoes with faces. How am I supposed to figure out the way the world works when all my stuff has a face? Is this normal? I'm confused. But what a soft widdle nose... Squish, squish.
Ha ha ha ha. I like this thing. Ha ha ha ha. Hey-- does this mean you aren't going to hold me anymore?
Yeah. Um. Guys? Des he have a razor and a maniacal grin? Um, am I the only one who fears for my safety?
Oh, okay. The razor's gone, and now he just has a hard plastic cobra on a pointy stick. Cool.
Okay, people. I guess I need to slow this down for you. Good job taking away the razor and the snake club. HIS HANDS ARE WEAPONS, TOO. HELP ME!!! I AM AN INFANT, AND I CANNOT HELP MYSELF.
Mom, Dad. I know you are conspicuous consumers, but it's August. Cool it on Santa, okay?
No, seriously. Waaaaah. What did you think I said?