Sunday, November 16, 2008
Shopping Psychosis and Jack's 7 Month Birthday
Can I just tell you how much dissonance the Gap Friends and Family coupon has been causing me? I have a HUGE problem with coupons-- I feel like I MUST redeem them and buy tons of crap I don't need (which, I understand, is the whole point right?). I went to BabyGap on Friday because Harry keeps outgrowing all his clothes, and I used my re-usable coupon very responsibly, buying a ton of stuff I would have bought anyway. Nice work, right? WRONG. That stupid slip of paper (because I printed it straight from my email-- and then printed like 3 more copies because I was afraid I would lose it) practically burned a whole on my diaper bag.
On the way to the grocery store, I had to run into Old Navy because 30% off-- how could I resist? I ended up coming to my senses somewhere in the middle of a display of fleece pants and abandoned my stroller cart (but how could I pass up a $7.99 cardigan for Harry-- 30% off eight bucks is like 2 and half dollars, for goodness sake-- also I did that math in my head instantaneously because I am the best sale shopper evah).
But then, after dinner (stuffed salmon, a baby green salad, baked potatoes, and fresh green beans-- all prepared by the best husband in the world), I dragged us all to the mall where I moped around Banana and tried really hard to like something so I could get 30% off of it. (I did like a few things, but I lack the grown up life that goes with them. Where the hell am I going to wear a satin babydoll dress? How the heck would I nurse in my chic little sweater mini? How many diapers could I cram inside an envelope clutch?)
Then I made us all go to the BigPeopleGap, where I again found myself in line with an armful of random crap that I sort of liked, so strong was my desire to reuse my coupon. I was literally the next person in line when I noticed that I grabbed the wrong size black cami. Then I remembered that I live in Wisconsin and would have to bury that cami under so many layers of wool, fleece, and flannel, it will be invisible until July, at which time it will no longer fit because I will be eating all winter in an attempt to coat my body with some insulating blubber.
So I left the line and told Ben, who was trying to retrieve Jack's teething toy, cram the fleece liner back into Harry's kicked-off Croc, and stop Harry's toes from connecting with Jack' eyes (hmmm, maybe that side-by-side stroller was a dumb idea after all) that I was just buying this stuff because I had a coupon and we should just go home.
"Because nobody needs 6 cans of light Progresso soup-- it's not worth the fifty cents off!" he screamed, in what would appear to the casual observer to be a non sequitur, but he has been harboring a lot of aggression at my coupon-induced shopping binges, I guess.
I went home and made a gross of cookies, in the spirit of excess
Harry donned boxes for shoes and was all, "You need to use coupon at Piper Lime, mama." He's no help.
I love a man with dishpan hands
Jack is 7 months old today. Time flies when you never sleep. It feels like only one long day ago that he was born.
(and that's where the psychosis part of the title comes into play)
Also, I think you can see his teeth in a couple of these. What you can't see? How bad he wants to crawl and the screams he emits when he tries to move forward and ends up scooting backwards instead.