Wednesday, November 07, 2012

I am at least 30 pounds overweight, and the zit on my chin is bleeding. Our family pictures should be fabulous today.

The title pretty much says it all.

But you guys.

I have never in my whole life (even when I got fat on Taco Bell and fountain Mountain Dew my sophomore year in college-- even when I got fat on Bagel and Deli and milkshakes my first year of grad school in Ohio) felt this ugly and dumpy and gross.  PERFECT time to pay for pro pics, huh?

Usually I love being pregnant and think I am totally adorable (until I have the baby and look at all my pregnancy photos and gawk at my girth), but this time I just feel so fat.

My underwear is tight.

Maternity jeans give me muffin top.

My yoga pants are stretched so thin you can see cellulite through them.

And to top it all off, my skin is shit.  I have wrinkles around my eyes and on the tops of my cheeks ALL THE TIME and not just when I smile, and my hair is stuck in an absolutely horrible shoulder-length awkward spot.

Aughhhhhh!

You know that awful old wives tale about how girls steal your beauty when you're pregnant?  Well not to go all Snow White's step mother, but yeah.  That.

5 comments:

Chiconky said...

For what it's worth, after seeing your last few pics I've thought, "How can she look so cute and pulled together, even pregnant with her fourth? I kind of hate her a little."
This baby has gifted me a face full of pimples. Like, too many to count, why bother with concealer. "Glow" my ass.

Becca said...

Ditto Chiconky.

Title is hilarious though!

Kim said...

I also think you look really good in your recent pictures! But I remember feeling so unattractive when pregnant with Zoƫ too. (I have one picture right before she was born where I seriously look like I swallowed a cow. A cow who swallowed a giant watermelon.)

I always scapegoat everything on hormones, and thankfully, those return to normal eventually! :)

SnarkyMommy said...

You're adorbs. Just artfully conceal the zit with your hand -- you can say you were looking pensive.

Sabrina said...

Have you tried egg yolk for your skin? Sounds disgusting, and it kind of is, but it works. Wash your face at night, slather on raw egg yolk and let it dry 15-20 min. Then rinse off with warm water and a washcloth. It helps with acne and wrinkles. once a day for a week and you'll be amazed. Do it for a month and you have new, vitamin A rich skin.