Wednesday, May 06, 2015

Music show!

Harrison had a music show at school this morning, something that I forgot about completely.  I noticed that he looked way more terrible than usual this morning in a horridly mismatched shirt and short combo with messy hair and slipper socks sticking out over the tops of his shoes.  I thought to myself damn he looks bad, is there a special even at school today?  (Because the boys always look their worst on special occasions).  And then it hit me!  School music show at 9:00 am.  Although I had the foresight to prep breakfast (homemade french toast-- made the batter ahead of time and put it on the fridge--bacon -- got my foil-lined cookie sheets ready to go so all I had to do was throw the bacon on them and throw them in the oven that I was sure I could remember to preheat to 375 the moment I opened my eyes-- and strawberries-- sliced them and threw them in bowls) last night, Dorothy, Cooper, and I still had to get dressed and get to school in time to get seats.  A little stressful, this realization.

The music show was a special kind of hell, by the way.  Surprisingly long.  And Dorothy and Cooper are not long music show material.  I thought I was going to have to beat the shit (metaphorically, of course) out of the older lady in front of me who kept shushing Dorothy.  On the one, yeah totally.  SHE WAS THE WORST.  On the other hand, dude, lady, check the venue.  We are in an elementary school gym FFS.  

And THEN Dorothy ran onto the riser to give Harry a hug.  I was right behind her, natch, and I got to treat the whole crowd to a view of my ass crammed in short-shorts.  You're welcome.  As I was grabbing Dorothy, a little boy said "That's embarrassing."  I don't know if he meant for me or her or Harry. But yeah, totally, dude.

I also had to stay after the program to wait for the school psychologist to come out of gym so I could yell at her because as Dorothy was making a break for it she-- from her criss-cross-applesauce position on the gym floor in the middle of a class of 4th graders-- snapped her fingers at Dorothy and reached out her arm and hissed at her.  ARE YOU FUCKING KIDDING ME, LADY?  I wouldn't want her to talk to my DOG like that, let a lone my KID.  Also, this lady just got hired full time for next year, and 50% of her appointment is for "positive behavior support."  **Snort**  She's gonna knock that out of the park, I can totally tell.  But she never came out, so I had to settle for an email.  CC'ed to lots of people.

Sunday we had donuts because I asked Dorothy what she wanted to eat, and she said "Surprise donuts," so she and I went to get some, and when we came home she ran downstairs and told the boys "Surprise!  Donuts!"

 Dorothy also helped set up a teacher appreciation week spread at school.  SHE'S SUCH A HELPER.
 We also discovered a pristine and palatial library 3 minutes from our house with tons of brand new fiction just waiting on the shelf and a giant CASTLE in the kids' section to read in.
 Golf course bar makes an excellent pear martini.
 Front row kid.
 This sounded as good as you can imagine.

4 comments:

Virginia said...

Grade school students generally have younger, non-school aged siblings. Perhaps she does not realize this phenomenon called "young families". I honestly am not sure how I would react to a stranger snapping and hissing at my child. Probably shock and then lots of anger.

Virginia said...

Grade school students generally have younger, non-school aged siblings. Perhaps she does not realize this phenomenon called "young families". I honestly am not sure how I would react to a stranger snapping and hissing at my child. Probably shock and then lots of anger.

Chiconky said...

In what universe is snapping at a mom appropriate? Especially one who's so obviously active in the school.

Anonymous said...

Grown folk snapping and hissing at childrens makes me all ragey-like. Words should be had. Bad, bad words (not in the presence of the childrens). Ugh