Tuesday, November 08, 2016

I'm With Her, of Course

I have been doing this new thing to reduce screaming (mine) in the morning.  Instead of sending the boys downstairs to get dressed and then being all surprised and horrified that they are still in their jammies fighting in front of the TV with the downstairs a freaking MESS at 8:26 when they should have left the house already, I have started GOING DOWNSTAIRS WITH THEM and tidying up the family room and their bedroom as they get dressed and wiping down their ALWAYS disgusting bathroom after they have brushed their teeth when they are on the way upstairs to get their lunches and backpacks.  Now, when they leave for school, I know that their beds are made; their snacks from the previous night are cleaned up, and their bathroom is devoid of pee on the floors/ALL SURFACES HOW DOES THAT EVEN HAPPEN for the next 6 or so hours while they're in school. And the only raised voices are theirs when they use their free time to go outside and play baseball before school.  It has been basically LIFE CHANGING.  And such a tiny thing, really.

Yesterday was particularly hectic because Mondays always are because Cooper needs to go to preschool; the big kids need to remember homework and lunches after a couple of days of being off their routine which always makes them totally hopeless at remembering those things, and everyone needs to find shoes because Dorothy and I have to drive Coop to school and then come home so I can finish getting dressed (ie hair and makeup) before we head to the library for story time.  I used to try to cram in grading for my online class which always has a Sunday night deadline, meaning there's work stacked up and waiting me that my little type-A self would really like to grade immediately, but Dorothy always bugged me and got more and more agitated and annoying the more I told her to leave me alone and go play, so now I just get up 30 minutes earlier on Mondays and do the work then or cram it in on Tuesdays in my office (though it kills me to leave the work ungraded overnight).  I have also pretty much given up trying to look pretty for preschool drop off although I am usually looking OK from the neck down-- I cannot WAIT until long Northface and tall Ugg season when I will only have to worry about 6 inches of leg between the bottom of my coat and the top of my boots for like 7 months-- the rest of me will be gleefully under wraps-- which has seriously cut down my morning stress.

Anyway, all of this is to say that I found myself in the boys' bathroom at like 8:08 yesterday morning cleaning pee off the side of the toilet and the floor around it when I noticed the bathroom smelled super cologne-y and the smell was coming from the bath tub. I moved aside the shower curtain to see the huge bottle of their 3-in-1 Dove Men shampoo/conditioner/body wash (when I think of all the money I spent on the most organic and specialest snowflake bath products for them when they were babies, I cannot believe that I buy them heavily scented, industrial-sized bottles of just for men products, but you guys!  They are starting to stink!) dumped over and pilled out all over the side of the tub and into the drain.  So, my point is, Dorothy and I had to hit up Wal-Mart on the way home from dropping Coop at school to get more soap/shampoo.

In a valiant attempt to save money, I have cut regular excursions to Target out of my life (I KNOW), and Wal-Mart really does help me avoid impulse buys for the most part.

But we did also come home with these: (And two $.99 hand soaps fr the kids' bathrooms and an eyeshadow and some special snowflake toothpaste because I am ONLY HUMAN)


I mean, the kid;s name is Dorothy, so she was going to get ruby slipper eventually, right?  And they make her feel beautiful, and she even slept in them:
 I sprang out of bed this morning to put on my suffrage inspired outfit (You're wearing a costume? To teach your class? asked my every supportive husband) and go vote with the fam as soon as the polls opened.  There was a long line for last names M-Z, but the A-L line had NO WAITING.  Thanks for the new name, patriarchy.

I cried when I filled out the bubble for Hillary Clinton and could cry again right now if I think about it too much.  And also because I am hungry for lunch and I just ate a morning snack, which also makes me feel like crying.


 Also I didn't realize that the slip part of this skirt was so short.
I can't wait to go home and put the kids to bed at the crack of dark (which comes so early now.  Thanks, Obama.) to make nachos and a pitcher of nasty women and sit glued to my TV ugly crying. I'm so dreamy.

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