You aren't going to believe this because I don't even believe this, but we went BACK TO THE MALL are you kidding me the VERY NEXT DAY.
Despite our experiences the other day, I really thought this was going to be a quick trip. Sure, we might have to go to one of the 4 different stores with Birks, but still. We knew exactly what we wanted: mocha Birko-flor Arizona sandals. Size TBD.
BUT THEN THE BROWN ONES WERE SOLD OUT IN HIS SIZE EVERYWHERE.
He almost got black but talked himself out of it. He tried to scam me for $40 more to get the leather ones (apparently, you guys, the $99 Arizonas are FAKE LEATHER, as every freaking salesperson told me with a wrinkled up nose).
We went home empty handed, and Harry was so sad. I called literally every store in town that sells Birks (and there are a lot because people here choose comfort over style EVERY TIME). I even found them on Zappos (with next day delivery) and said he could get them that way. But he wanted them RIGHT NOW. Finally, after wearing mine around the house (they were too small), he decided to simply size up. He's really a 39, but one lone store in town had a pair of browns in a 40, so he bought them. FINALLY MY GOD FINALLY. I wasted a whole day on them and was ready to fork over the extra cash to be done with it, even if that meant I also had to buy Jack a pair because OH MY GOD STOP ORGANIZING MY LIFE AROUND SANDALS.